• James Parry

Parrywinkle November 17, 2016

Just read about a tremendously successful gala of the Procrastinators Club in Ontario that last week celebrated its 20th Anniversary. The reason for its success? Evidently nobody showed up for the dinner and distinguished guest speaker. Not that they had booked a hall, speaker, or menu or anything. The organizers apparently being simply too busy with other more important things - such as following the Trump-Clinton debacle on CNN albeit with a subsequent smooth transition - to get around to it.

Not that that should come as any great surprise, I hasten to add. For no club member has ever shown up at a meeting over the past two decades. Which explains why the original minutes have never been formally seconded and approved.

Now that, dear readers, is true procrastination. And a club that I think would be more than pleased to have me as a member!

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SQUIRREL SYNDROME - You see, for the past few years, I have been putting off having my eyes tested. My distant vision is perfect. But ever since my arms got too short for me to read small print clearly, I have been buying OTC (Over The Counter) glasses for a couple of bucks a pair. The strength having gone up from 1.5 to 2.5. I have them all over the place in the house, but somehow can never find a pair when I need them.

For despite the protestations of my beautiful Sunshine - who once a week at least will spread them around so as to be readily available wherever I am likely to need them - they always seem to end up in a big pile in one specific spot. Call it the Squirrel Syndrome. And I know that I am not alone in this particular trait among OTC wearers.

For months now, Mireille has also been bugging me to have my eyes professionally tested. But I procrastinated. Telling myself that heck, I don't need prescription glasses. I just need to increase the strength of those I already buy and can afford to break or lose. Providing, of course, that I can find them in the first place!

And so it was this week that, albeit reluctantly, I agreed to visit her friend and long-time optician, Magda Taraboulsy. And guess what? Learned after an hour-long consultation with an optometrist that I do indeed need prescription glasses for reading and working on the 'puter. My right eye not having the same strength as my left. Or was it the other way around? And that by wearing OTCs - known to one and all as dollar store glasses - I was only weakening them both.

Sheesh. Mireille had been right all along. Go figure!

Suffice to say that I then had to select a pair of frames. A real dilemma for a procrastinator such as myself. Crikey mick, I thought. Do I go with the oval, rectangular, big square, or round?

I finally opted for a brown-framed roundish lens. Giving me a kind of distinguished owlish-John Lennon-professorial type look. Or so I was told. At least it's different to that of my long-time so-called lookalike, Willy Nelson. Ah, in the words of the Scottish Bard Robbie Burns in his poem, To a Louse, 'O would some power the gift to give us to see ourselves as others see us.'

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FABULOUS NOVA FASHION - Still on the fashionista scene, delighted to report that the recent fundraiser luncheon staged by Hudson's Nova Boutique at the Whitock Golf & Country Club was an unqualified success.

With some 117 tickets sold, fantastic donated items on sale, a great silent auction, admirably emceed by Roland Schulz, organized by Louise Hatrick and Corrine Smith, and starring models for the day Bev Wilken, Shannon Gaul, Debbie Hodgson, Suzanne Raymond, Inga Lawson, Louise Lamontagne, and Nancy Campeau. All boutique volunteers on a regular basis, and sporting donated clothing and accessories available six days a week at the boutique at 455 Main Road - which opened in May 2009 - and at simply unbeatable prices.

The most expensive item on the 'runway,' for example, was an impeccable Escada women's suit priced at $75. Regular retail price? Well over $1,000. Donated handbags from internationally-acclaimed designers and houses including Jimmy Choo, Prada, Burberry, and Coach were going for a song. Plus designer real silk scarves, priced retail up to $300 that went for $20 each.

I had to laugh when Roland asked all the ladies present and who came from throughout the region how many were actually wearing outfits bought at the boutique and over half of them put up their hands. Also later, when I learned from boutique president, Janet Ellerbeck, that several had actually bought back items they had previously donated because they looked so good on the models!

Perhaps next year, however, a men's segment in the show with volunteers strutting their stuff on the runway? Could be fun and after all, as a regular shopper there, I know you have a terrific ever-changing haberdashery department for us males. Just a thought ladies. And a big bravo to one and all!

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BRILLIANT CHRISTMAS BAZAAR - And while we’re on fashion - well, sewing anyway - still trying to get my head around the fact that Christmas is now just five or so weeks away and that the ladies of St. Mary's Sewing Circle are all set for their annual Christmas Bazaar this Saturday, November 19 from 9 a.m. to 12 noon at the Parish Hall, 261 Main Road, in Como.

In addition to sewing articles that make for great gifts, there will also be their famous chicken pot pies which always sell out fast, as well as home-baked goods, plants, arts and crafts, 'attic treasures,' and a whole bunch of stuff at unbeatable prices. Ho, ho, ho!

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PEAS PLEASE - In closing, just learned from YLJ wagster, Jane Kirkwood, that an 80-year-old lady wearing a chic Chanel ensemble was recently arrested for shoplifting in Vancouver. And that when she went before the judge, he asked her. “What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.”

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. Six, she replied. The judge then said that he would give her six days in jail. At which point, and before said judge could actually pronounce sentence, the woman's husband spoke up and asked if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?” Said the husband, “She also stole a big can of peas!”

Please, no Letters to the Editor. I'm just peasing - sorry, passing - it on!

And that's a wrap!

E-mail: creation@videotron.ca

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